{~| Pastorius |~}
ANBU
The Perverted Smartass[M:0][M:0]
I know you can't battle the masses dear A tiny storm in your teacup girl
Posts: 396
|
Hanzuu
Apr 24, 2008 15:49:26 GMT -5
Post by {~| Pastorius |~} on Apr 24, 2008 15:49:26 GMT -5
Just read it... It's really bad.
|
|
selonianth
Academy Student
he's actually a she.
Posts: 23
|
Hanzuu
Apr 24, 2008 16:15:32 GMT -5
Post by selonianth on Apr 24, 2008 16:15:32 GMT -5
history or kekei genkai?
|
|
{~| Pastorius |~}
ANBU
The Perverted Smartass[M:0][M:0]
I know you can't battle the masses dear A tiny storm in your teacup girl
Posts: 396
|
Hanzuu
Apr 26, 2008 15:53:29 GMT -5
Post by {~| Pastorius |~} on Apr 26, 2008 15:53:29 GMT -5
It's all really badly written. The Kekkei Genkai needs way more detail and you really need to actually think about it.
The history not only is short, but it's not descriptive and leaves lots of questions unanswered. I'm really beginning to think that you just don't give a crap about your writing.
Sorry if you think that I'm being tough, but this stuff really doesn't deserve approving on any forum. At least not yet.
|
|
selonianth
Academy Student
he's actually a she.
Posts: 23
|
Hanzuu
Apr 27, 2008 18:08:34 GMT -5
Post by selonianth on Apr 27, 2008 18:08:34 GMT -5
i'm finding it hard to focus at the moment because of my allergies so I'll fix it eventually
|
|